Which fish dresses the best?…The Swordfish – It always looks sharp

What do you get if you cross an abbot with a trout?…Monkfish

What kind of fish will help you hear better?…A herring aid

What do romantic fish sing to each other?…Salmon-chanted evening

What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…The Codfather

Why is a swordfish’s nose 11 inches long?…If it were 12 inches long it would be a foot

Which fish can perform operations?…A Sturgeon

What’s a sea serpent’s favourite meal?…Fish and ships

Where do fish wash?…In a river basin

Why are fish so gullible?…They fall for things hook, line and sinker

Where do little fishes go every morning?…To plaice school

what sea creatures would you bet on in a fight?…Mussels, they always win!

What fish goes up the river at 100mph?…A motor pike

How do you communicate with a fish?…You drop it a line

1st kipper: ‘Smoking’s bad for you’…2nd kipper: ‘It’s OK, I’ve been cured’

What kind of fish is useful in freezing weather?…Skate

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?…Drop it a line

What puts white lines on the ocean?…Ocean liners

What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?…A seahorse

Where are most fish found?…Between the head and the tail

What do fish sing to each other?…Salmon-chanted evening

What fish sounds like a telephone?…Herring, herring…herring, herring…

How do you tune a fish?…With its scales

What do you get if you cross a trout with an apartment?…A flat fish

What fish is the most valuable?…A goldfish.

What’s the best way to catch a fish?…Have someone throw it at you.

What sea animal can be adjusted to play music?…The tune-a fish

How did the fish’s tail get stuck in the anchor chain?…It was just a fluke

What is purple and lives in the sea and weighs 5000 pounds?…Moby Plum

Why are manatees so wrinkled?…Did you ever tried to iron one?

Why are fish no good at tennis?…They don’t like to get too close to the net

Why did the optician go ice fishing?…He had perfect ice sight