Q: What did the lettuce say to the celery?
A: Quit stalking me!

Q: What did the salad say to the dressing?
A: Lettuce be friends!

Q: What room can be eaten?
A: A mushroom!

Q: Why does Ms. Mushroom go out with Mr. Mushroom?
A: Because he is a fungi (fun guy)!

Q: What do you get when you cross a potato with an onion?
A: A potato with watery eyes!

Q: Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A: He couldn’t concentrate!

Q: Did you hear the joke about the peach?
A: It’s pit-iful!

Q: What are twins’ favorite fruit?
A: Pears (pairs)!

Q: What do vegetables wish for, more than anything else in the whole world?
A: Peas (peace) on earth!

Q: Why do vegetables want that so much?
A: Because it will give them peas (piece) of mind!

Q: What do you get when two peas fight?
A: Black-eyed peas

Q: When is an apple not an apple?
A: When it’s a pineapple!

Q: What kind of fruit do trees like the most
A: Pine-apple

Q: What kind of fruit can fix your sink?
A: A PLUM-ber

Q: How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?
A: With a pumpkin patch!

Q: Why are radishes smart?
A: Because they’re so well-red!

Q: What’s the coolest vegetable?
A: A rad-ish!

Q: What is small, red and whispers?
A: A hoarse radish!

Q: Why were the strawberries so upset?
A: Because they were in a jam!

Q: What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
A: Straw-berries

Q: What’s a dancer’s favorite kind of vegetable?
A: Spin-ach!

Q: What’s the most uncomfortable kind of vegetable?
A: Spin-ouch!

Q: What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin?
A: I yam what I yam

Q: Why did the Tomato go out with a prune!
A: Because he couldn’t find a date!

Q: How do you fix a broken tomato?
A: Tomato paste!

Q: Why was the tomato blushing?
A: Because it saw the salad dressing.

Q: What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato whilst on a family walk?
A: Ketchup.

Q: Knock Knock!
Q: Who’s there?
A: Turnip
Q: Turnip who?
A: Turnip the radio please!

Q: What kind of vegetable likes to look at animals?
A: A zoo-chini!

Q: What is a zucchini’s favorite game?
A: Squash!