Naughty Jokes

Best Naughty Jokes on the internet. An ever-growing collection of extremely funny jokes.

A Gay, A Robber, And A Drunk

One day there was a gay guy, a robber, and a drunk. They were living their life and one day the gay guy did his deed and poof… he is gone. Then the robber goes and robs a bank and poof… he’s gone. Then the drunk gets drunk at a bar and poof… he’s gone.

Married Woman

A man married a woman who had been married five times.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled man. “How can that be if you’ve been married five times?”

“Well, my first husband was a sales specialist, he kept telling me how great it was going to be…

18 Daughters

Three men went to Las Vegas and after losing their money at the blackjack tables, they decided to stay off the strip in a not so expensive hotel, and the guy that owned it had 18 daughters.

Camping In The Mountains

Two men were camping in the mountains, They spent four days together. One morning, one of them says,

“We’re starting to get on each other’s nerves. Let’s split up today. I’ll hike north and you’ll hike south. Then we’ll have supper and share our experiences.”

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You Got Married

A very handsome and tall man got married to a little woman. One day he was walking with his wife when he met one of his classmates.

“Oh, you got married to her? I’m surprised, You are such a big, burly guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny woman? She is no bigger than your hand.”

New American Ambassador

A new American ambassador was being entertained by an African diplomat.

They’d spend the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out. “The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus, we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette.”

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A Donkey

This man walks into a bar and sees a donkey.

He askes the bartender, “Why is there a donkey?”

On A Desert Island

A man was stranded on a desert island for a long period. One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wet suit.

Man: “Hi! I’m so happy to see you here.”

Three Women

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress. Are chatting over lunch and the conversation turns to their relationships. They decided that night to surprise their men. All three would wear a black leather bra and thong, heels, and a mask over their eyes.

The Wedding Night

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride and said,

“Here, put these on.”

On A Golf Course

On a golf course, a woman was learning how to play golf, and in one attempt she fired a violent shot and realized that the ball hit a man who was nearby. He bends forward, squeezing his hands between his legs and moaning in pain. She immediately runs to him to apologize.

Church Bells

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Susan went straight to her grandparent’s house to visit her 95 years old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied,

Too Much Weight

A Finn, Swede, and Norwegian were on a plane. The pilot announced: “Too much weight! Too much weight!”
Long
The Norwegian dropped an orange off the plane. The pilot repeated: “Too much weight! Too much weight!”

At The Pool

A boy complains to his father: You told me to put a potato in my swimming trunks! You said it would impress the girls at the pool! But you forgot to mention one thing!

Father, “Really, what?”

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Two Parrots

A man has to leave for a few days and wants to find a temporary home for his parrot.

As he knows the priest also has a parrot, he decides to ask him if he can watch his.