– You know how baseball, basketball, and American football are played. If you’re male, you can argue intricate points about their rules.
– You learned to memorize the fifty states with a song.
– You count yourself fortunate if you get three weeks of vacation a year.
– You think that Beethoven is a cute St. Bernard dog
– You drive around looking for the closest parking space at the gym.
– You think that Panda Express is real Chinese food.
– You have more credit cards than you can count on the fingers of two hands.
– You think that Africa and Asia are both countries.
– You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
– You believe that Americans don’t have an accent. Everyone else does.
– You leave your $30,000 car on the driveway while cramming your garage with useless junk in boxes.
– Breakfast during the work week is either Fast Food or instant food.
– Your parents know what’s best for everyone else kids
– You aren’t talking to your mom
– Your cell phone could be mistaken for life support.
– Your SUV has a “My child is a …” bumper sticker on it.
– You don’t believe in God but celebrate Christmas anyway.
– You care about celebrity gossip.
– You don’t know who your neighbors are and you couldn’t care less.
– You believe everything you hear on Fox News.
– Poor to you means you don’t have money to buy a $300 purse
– You treat Vietnam Vets with great respect, and always have.
– You leave home at 5 AM to avoid the city traffic on the way to work.
– You spell theater instead of theatre.
– You eat out more then you do in.