Indian

– (For females) You’re parents would freak out if you wore a crop top baring your midriff but wearing a sari is perfectly acceptable
– (For females) Your brother had no curfew while you had to be home at 11pm
– You are ALWAYS taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go
– When you were little you always wondered why your American friends waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it first thing in the morning
– Tongue scrapers are not a new fad to you
– To your Canadian friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid
– Wearing deodorant is optional
– When your Canadian friends cringe at the thought of their parents in bed, you wonder how odd it would be to see your parents get within one foot of each other
– Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names
– Your parents hate the British
– You have annoying nicknames like Chotu or Chicku
– Your parents call all your friends “Beta” whether they are Indian or not
– People you call “uncle” always smell up the bathroom at parties
– If you aren’t married and you turn 25, your parents start wringing their hands and proclaim that it’s too late
– You have never met half of your extended family
– Either you really like Indians of the opposite sex or you can’t stand them
– Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds
– A horoscope must decide your wedding date
– Your parents drink 6 cups of tea a day
– Your parents had eight daughters in hopes of having a son
– You are sick and tired of answering questions about “the dot”
– Your friends could not explain your religion to someone if they tried
– You could not explain your religion to someone if you tried
– One or both of your parents skipped at least one year of elementary school.
– You have cousins you have never met, whose names you don’t know, but who insist they’re related to you, even though they bear NO resemblance to anyone YOU know.
– Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try and demonstrate how well it works whenever they’re not fighting.
– You have trouble paying attention to “minor” items like your kids’ social lives, but you know the exact number of the checks you’re on in your checkbook.
– Your parents compare you to all of their friends’ kids.
– When you compare your friends to yourself, your parents say, “You aren’t the same person as they are!”
– The second you pull out of someone’s driveway, your parents start talking about them.
– At least once a week your mom says, “I want to go to India”
– Older siblings always listen to your parents’ conversations.
– No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.
– Your parents worry what other people will think if you’re not going to be a doctor, lawyer, or engineer.
– You’re parent’s always say, “It’s cheaper in India”

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