ukrainian

– Your car costs more than your college education
– Your blood has a permanent vodka content level, no matter you have been drinking or not
– Any outfit you wear involves leather (even in the summer even when no coats are worn)
– Things you can’t live without include food, water, and a cell phone
– Instead of notes during class you write text messages to your friends in Russian font
– You come home at 3am and your parents are still out partying with all your friend’s parents
– People are always asking you if you can get them a cheep deal on something…and you can
– Every sentence you say or hear starts with “blyat” and ends with “nahuy”
– You know all the cops by their first names
– You know someone who works at a dental lab
– You drive a Honda/Toyota, and your windows are tinted to twice the legal limit
– Your Honda has either a RU (Russia) or UA (Ukraine) sticker on the back bumper
– Your Honda is a 5-speed stick shift, and you laugh at anyone driving an automatic by calling them lohs
– The waitresses at Omega know your order even before you say anything. Most of the time you get “Gypsy”.
– You met your girl playing strip durak at the last party you went to.
– You wake up on a saturday morning, unable to remember which one of your friends gave you a ride home because you couldn’t even walk, but see your car standing in the parking lot (you drove home yourself).
– You start thinking of bread as a good mixer for vodka
– You know more than 30 Olgas, Annas, Natashas, and Vikas
– You have a personalized license plate.
– Typical Friday/Saturday night phone call to your friends starts with “So what are we doing tonight?”
– Most of your clothes are fake brand names but you “just can’t tell them apart from the real ones.”
– You used to work out, but you don’t anymore. If you do workout, you must wear all you golden chains and bracelets.
– Lifting a cigarette while drinking coffee counts as an exercise.

More jokes from the community


One More Joke For You!

Continue Reading
Buy Now