This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Will people have money when communism is built?”
We’re answering: “Some will, some will not.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Is it possible to build communism in America?”
We’re answering: “It’s possible, but who will we buy grain from?”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “When the final phase of socialism, namely communism, is built, will there still be thefts and pilfering?”
We’re answering: “No, because everything will be already pilfered during socialism.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the most permanent feature of our socialist economy?”
We’re answering: “Temporary shortages.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the difference between capitalism and socialism?”
We’re answering: “In a capitalist society man exploits man, and in a socialist one, the other way around.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the difference between the capitalist and the socialist trade?”
We’re answering: “Capitalist trade means everything is to be sold. Socialist trade means everything is to be bought.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Is it possible to make ends meet on salary alone?”
We’re answering: “We don’t know, we never tried.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Is it true that American skyscrapers are the tallest in the world?”
We’re answering: “Yes, it’s true, but on the other hand the Soviet-made transistors are the largest in the world.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What will be the results of the next elections?”
We’re answering: “Nobody can tell.” Somebody has stolen yesterday the exact results of the next elections from the office of the Central Committee of the USSR.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is the difference between Russian and English fairy tales?”
We’re answering: “The English fairy tale start with ‘Once upon a time…’, and ours with ‘It will be soon…'”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why did you not broadcast for such a long time?”
We’re answering: “We had to make some changes in our staff. The previous broadcaster, while reading an article that contained the words ‘Socialism is nothing as compared with communism,’ made a pause too long after the word ‘nothing.'”