Classic Jokes

Best Classic Jokes on the internet. An ever-growing collection of extremely funny jokes.

Truth of life

The most important thing – not body or soul. The most important thing – it’s money.
Well, think about it, who needs you, if you are good, kind and funny bum?

Wild Sex

Wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. Husband walks in.
She turned around and says: “We must make love this very moment.”
His eyes lit up and he thinks to himself – “This is my lucky day.” …

ABCD Joke

After being married for 49 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a while, then said, “You’re an alphabet wife ..

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Chase

A cop pulls over a speeding red Porsche and walks up. Before he can say anything the driver, a teenager, challenges him “Do you know who my father is?” The cop takes off his hat and pauses and says…

God Share

An Orthodox Priest, a Catholic Priest and a Rabbi are talking about how they divide up the money they get in collections from their congregations.

Catholic Priest: “To divide up the money, we draw two …

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Whishes

A man finds a lamp and rubs it a genie pops out and offers him 3 wishes but with condition .

What ever you wish your wife will get double it. You want a million dollars, your wife gets two million dollars”…

Communist

Ivanov applied to the Communist Party. The party committee conducts an interview.
“Comrade Ivanov, do you smoke?”
“Yes, I do a little.”
“Do you know that comrade …

Old Joke

A rabbit ran wildly in the street.
“Why are you running like mad?” a bear asked.
“Don’t you know, they are now arresting all…

Clergyman

A clergyman got up one morning and was surprised to find a dead donkey at his from door. Thinking that a practical joker had put it there , he rang up his friend the Town Clerk.
“I saw, John, there’s a dead donkey at my…

Shopping

“Did you hear about the aboriginal who bought himself a new boomerang”
“No. What happened?”
“He went crazy trying to throw the old one away”

Filming

Producer: “In this scene you’re blown into the air and caught by any airplane.”
Star: “I see. But what if the airplane isn’t there”
Producer: “Well, don’t wait, come down.”

Santa Q&A

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!

Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ‘ho ho ho’!

Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low …

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Harvard

There was a young country boy who was very bright. In fact he was bright enough to be accepted to Harvard.

One of his first assignments at Harvard was to write a paper on a famous person. He didn’t know who he would write about so he decided to go to the library and do some research….