God Share
An Orthodox Priest, a Catholic Priest and a Rabbi are talking about how they divide up the money they get in collections from their congregations.
Catholic Priest: “To divide up the money, we draw two …
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Whishes
A man finds a lamp and rubs it a genie pops out and offers him 3 wishes but with condition .
What ever you wish your wife will get double it. You want a million dollars, your wife gets two million dollars”…
Communist
Ivanov applied to the Communist Party. The party committee conducts an interview.
“Comrade Ivanov, do you smoke?”
“Yes, I do a little.”
“Do you know that comrade …
Old Joke
A rabbit ran wildly in the street.
“Why are you running like mad?” a bear asked.
“Don’t you know, they are now arresting all…
Jokes to your email!
Clergyman
A clergyman got up one morning and was surprised to find a dead donkey at his from door. Thinking that a practical joker had put it there , he rang up his friend the Town Clerk.
“I saw, John, there’s a dead donkey at my…
Shopping
“Did you hear about the aboriginal who bought himself a new boomerang”
“No. What happened?”
“He went crazy trying to throw the old one away”
Filming
Producer: “In this scene you’re blown into the air and caught by any airplane.”
Star: “I see. But what if the airplane isn’t there”
Producer: “Well, don’t wait, come down.”
Christmass Knock Knock!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Pudding
Pudding who?
Pudding in your face!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Snow
Snow who?…
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Santa Q&A
What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ‘ho ho ho’!
Why did Santa’s helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low …
Harvard
There was a young country boy who was very bright. In fact he was bright enough to be accepted to Harvard.
One of his first assignments at Harvard was to write a paper on a famous person. He didn’t know who he would write about so he decided to go to the library and do some research….
Smarty
An Italian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Italy on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Italian hands over the keys to a new Ferrari….
Hikers
During hikers meetup the speaker told everyone to drink lots of water during hike, and symptoms of dehydration are headache and grumpiness.
In this note one of the hikers yells
– Oh my good, my wife was dehydrated for last 27 years.
Artist
An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in her paintings that were on display.
“Well, I have good news and bad news,” the owner responded. “The good news is that a gentleman noticed your work…
Wrong Turn
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole…
Woman
Jim was speeding along the road one fine day when the local policeman, a friend of his, pulled him over. “What’s wrong, Eric?” Jim asked. “Well didn’t you know, Jim, that your wife fell out of the car about five miles back?”…
Classic Woman
Kris was getting annoyed and shouted upstairs to his wife,” Hurry up or we’ll be late.”
“Oh, be quiet,” replied his wife. “Haven’t I been telling you for the last hour that I’ll be ready in a minute?”
