A Colorful Parrot
A black man walks into a bar. He has a very colorful parrot sitting on his shoulder. He walks up to the bartender to get a beer.
The bartender says, “Wow! He’s pretty. Where’d you get him at?”
Bar Jokes
Best Bar Jokes on the internet. An ever-growing collection of extremely funny jokes.
Shiny Shoes
A man goes to a bar. He goes to the dance floor with three ladies. He says to them,
“If I guess the color of your underwear you have to dance with me.”
Whiskey Please
A man walks into a bar…
…The bartender asks “Why the long face?”
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I Have A Dollar
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says,
“What’ll it be buddy?” The man says,
He Asked Her Name
A guy spots a nice looking girl in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she didn’t back off he asked her name.
“Carmen,” she replied.
Complaining About Her Husband
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar. So one night he took her along with him.
“What will you have?” he asked.
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At A Bar
Three guys are drinking at a bar.
After several drinks, the first one gets up to leave. “Where do you think you’re going?” asked the others. He says, “Guys I’d love to stay but I have to cut myself off. The last time we got together, I was so drunk. When I got home, I blew chunks right on the living room floor in front of my wife and my in-laws.”
A German In A Bar
A German walks into a bar and asks for a martini. The bartender asks:
“Dry?”
A SMART Dog
A guy walks into a bar with his dog.
He says, “Hey, bartender, check this out. My dog can talk!”
Cowboy with state-of the-art watch
A cowboy walks into a bar and sits next to a beautiful woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment.
The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
“No”, he replies, “I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.”
Flip It Around
A man walks into a bar.
He asks the bartender for a Jack and coke. The bartender says “I’ve got you” and hands him an apple.
“You’ve got to be joking,” said the man
The Welder
A duck walks into a bar and orders a beer and a sandwich.
The bartender says “wow, you don’t see that every day! Man, what’s your story?”
The duck says “I’m a welder at the construction site across the street. I’ll be here for a few months while we finish the building,” and picks up his newspaper and starts reading. The bartender…
A Man Is In A Bar Having A Drink
A man is in a bar having a drink. The guy next to him falls off of his barstool. The man picks up the guy and sits him back on the barstool, and he falls off again. This time he picks the guy up and asks,
A Man Is Sitting Alone In a Bar
A man is sitting alone in a bar staring at a drink. In walks a surly, tatted-up biker. He sees the man sitting alone, walk over, picks up the man’s drink, and downs it in one go. He then looks at the man and says, “What are ya gonna do about it, huh?”
