A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”

She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone …

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Why do we need two central newspapers, Pravda (Truth) and Izvestiya (News) if both are organs of the same Party?”
We’re answering: “Because in Pravda there is no news, and in Izvestiya there is no truth.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is it that starts …

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is a Soviet musical duet?”
We’re answering: “It’s a musical quartet after a trip abroad.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “How to find out the precise time of the day?”
We’re answering: “A few seconds before noon,…

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “We are told that the communism is already seen at the horizon.” Then, what is a horizon?”
We’re answering: “Horizon is an imaginary line which moves away each time you approach it.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What should we do if the Western borders of the USSR were opened?”
We’re answering: “Rush to Siberia at once in order…

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Will people have money when communism is built?”
We’re answering: “Some will, some will not.”

This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Is it possible…

3 men were gathering one day to talk about how successful there sons were doing.
The first man says, “My son has been doing so successful as a lawyer he got a mansion and shares it with his friend.”
The second mans says, “My son has been so successful as a doctor…

An old farmer wrote to his innocent son in prison,

“This year I wont be able to plant potatoes cause I can’t dig the ground, I know if u were here u would help me ”

Son replied – “Dad don’t think of digging the ground cause that’s where I buried the guns”

Police reads the letter and the very next day, the whole ground was dug by police looking for guns, but nothing was found.

The son wrote ag

If you are real skunk you will love this!!!

Q: Have you heard the skunk joke? A: You don’t want to; it really stinks!
Q: How do you make a skunk stop smelling? A: Plug up its nose!
Q: How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?….

Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful Ben’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact…

A man walks into a hamburger shop and orders a regular meal. Later, the waitress brings his meal to him. He takes a bite out of it, and notices there’s a small hair in the hamburger. He begins yelling frantically at the waitress, “Waitress, there’s a hair in my hamburger…

“In Soviet Russia, cat still hates you!”

In Soviet Russia, Christmas steals the Grinch!!

In Soviet Russia, Homework comes from you!!

In Soviet Russia, party throw you!
In America, you are

Policeman sees a car parked in the local lover’s lane, with the windows all steamed up.

He knocks on the drivers window, and the guy inside rolls it down. The cop sees that there is a guy sitting

A guy parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.

As he’s getting out of the car, a car comes speeding along too close to the car and takes off the door be