A man goes into a confession on his way home from the golf course

Forgive me, Father, I have sinned.

Tell me what happened son

Well, I used the Lord's name in vain. I was out golfing this morning and hit the most beautiful drive of my life, straight as an arrow, it must've carried 300 yards, right down the middle of the fairway.

So you got a little too excited and cursed?

No, that's not all of it. Right after the ball stopped, a squirrel ran out, grabbed my ball and bolted back for the trees.

Ah, I see. So you got angry at the squirrel

No, there's more. Before the squirrel could get to the trees, a huge hawk swooped down, picked up the squirrel and flew off with it.

Ok, that has to be it right? You got angry at the hawk?

Nope… right as the hawk got over the green, the squirrel shook itself loose. When it hit the ground, it dropped the ball which rolled across the green and stopped 10 inches from the cup.

You missed the god damn putt, didn't you?