A Blond Asks

A blond in a bus stop asks a man, “Excuse me, sir, could you tell me what time is it?”

The man replies: “It’s four o’clock.”

In A Cafe

A man walks into a cafe and orders a cocktail. He takes his first sip and sets it down.

While he is looking around the cafe, a hot girl grabs the drink pours it on his head, and stabs him with the umbrella.

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Zip Code

A blonde goes to her psychologist and says,

“I’m on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me.”

My Next Patient

As a brain wave technology specialist, I often ask postoperative patients to smile to make sure their facial nerves are intact.

It always struck me as odd to be asking this question right after brain surgery, so a colleague suggested me to ask patients to show me their teeth.

A Really Angry Wife

A man came to the grocery store. He took a jug of fine wine and a bouquet of flowers. He came to the cashdesk, but before paying, he set the wine and flowers and said,

“I’ll be right back.”

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First Night Shift

It was my first night caring for an elderly patient. When he grew sleepy, I wheeled his chair as close to the bed as possible and, using the techniques I’d learned in school, grasped him in a bear hug to lift him into the bed. But I couldn’t clear the top of the mattress. So I grabbed him again, summoned all my might, and the same.

Contact Center

A company’s contact center had three phones. One day during lunch, an employee was responsible for answering all of them. It was a constant repeat of

“May I help you?” or “Will you hold?” and there was a surprise… This employee answered one man on the other end of the line with, “May I hold you?”

My Dad’s Jokes

What I remember about my dad’s jokes is my mother’s reaction.

While others were howling at one of his jokes, my mom would always respond,

Cardiac Problems

A paramedic team was called to an emergency. Before they took the patient to the hospital, one from the team asked the patient’s wife,

“Does your husband have any cardiac problems?”