A man married a woman who had been married five times.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled man. “How can that be if you’ve been married five times?”

“Well, my first husband was a sales specialist, he kept telling me how great it was going to be. The second husband was an engineer, he understood the basic process but wanted a few years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. The third was a marketer, he had a nice product, but was never sure how to position it. The other was a psychologist, all he ever did was talk about it. The last was a stamp collector, all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”

“Well,” said the new husband, “but, why?”

“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”