Einstein And His Driver
One day, On the way to an important science conference Einstein, tells his driver that looks a bit like him and says,
“I’m sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!”
Classic Jokes
Best Classic Jokes on the internet. An ever-growing collection of extremely funny jokes.
The Husband Was Fed Up
A woman was making breakfast for her husband when suddenly, he burst into the kitchen.
“Carefully,” he said, “Be careful! Put in some more butter! Oh my God! You’re cooking too many at once. Turn them! Turn them now! We need more butter. They’ll stick! Careful! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you crazy? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the Salt!”
The Neighbors
One day a little boy was digging a hole in his back yard.
The next-door neighbor spotted him and decided to talk to him.
“Hello my boy, what are you doing there?” he asked.
Jokes to your email!
Joke In Question And Answer Format
Question: “Is it possible to build Communism in a random capitalist country like, say, the Netherlands?”
Answer: “Of course it’s possible but what have the Netherlands ever done to you?”
Chukcha Bought A Refrigerator.
Chukcha bought a refrigerator.
— What do you need this fridge for? You live in Siberia.
The Doctor To The Patient
The Doctor to the patient, “I’ve got bad news for you – you’ve got cancer and Alzheimer’s”.
Patient: “Well, at least I don’t have cancer”
One Liner Joke: Russian Elections
The Russian elections are like when God set Eve in front of Adam and said, “Go and choose your wife.”
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One Liner Joke About Government
Don’t steal, don’t lie, and don’t cheat. The government hates competition.
It Seems That…
It seems that England’s royal family is running out of money. They are down to just $1.6 million.
Well sure, that’s what happens when nobody in your family has had a job for the last thousand years.
One Liner Joke: Like Communism
My love is like communism; everyone gets a share, and it’s only good in theory.
One Liner Joke: Work Not Much, But Hard
I work harder than God. If He had hired me, He would have made the world by Thursday.
A Programmer Dies
A programmer dies and appears in front of the pearly gates. St Peter greeted him and looked through his list. He finds the programmer’s name in the list.
“It seems you have too many sins to be permitted into heaven. I’m sorry, but I have to send you to hell,” says St Peter to the programmer.
Why Aren’t You Married
One day Dave met his friend Joe by the corner cafe. The friend asked,
“Have you got married? asked Joe.
His Four Sons
Two friends are seating in a restaurant and speaking. The first asks,
“What are your sons’ professions?”
I’m A Lawyer
There was a man who couldn’t get a date. He went to a bar and asked this one guy how to get a date. The guy said,
“It’s simple. I just say I’m a lawyer.”
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A Truck Driver
A truck driver drives into town and sees three people eating dinner. He asks the family who lived there,
“Hey Listen, can you tell me if there are black cows in this town?
