Lecture About Alcohol

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 A.M. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies,

“I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.”

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Earth Is Round

The teacher asked little Matthew: “How can you prove the earth is round?”

Little Matthew replied: “I can’t. Besides, I never said it was.”

Coronavirus

Boss is yelling at his worker, “You called in sick yesterday and said you had the Coronavirus. You can’t be here until you get negative test results.”

The worker, “I said I had a case of Corona and I wasn’t coming to work. I’ve never said anything about a virus.”

Where Is God

Two boys were misbehaving. So their mother went to the local priest to look for advice. The priest thought it would be best if the boys learned integrity, by way of understanding that God is everywhere, and He sees everything you do so you shouldn’t misbehave.

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I Want To Die Peacefully

Two friends are talking. One of them says.

“I want to die peacefully in my sleep as my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.”

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Applying For A Job

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.

The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: