All I Need

If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple thank you is all I need.

Not all this, “How the fuck did you get in my house?!” and the flying lamp.

They’re Busy

A man calls his old friend and to his surprise, his friend’s young child answers the phone.

“Hey, can you pass the phone to your dad?”

Death Statistics

A man was riding on the bus and reading an article about life and death statistics. Fascinated he turns to the fellow sitting next to him and says,

“Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?”

The Hungry Man

A man is driving home and sees another man on the sidewalk eating grass. He stops and asks,

“Hey! Why are you eating grass?”

Jokes to your email!


I Tried Too Hard

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

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A Bar Joke

A man was drinking in a bar when his old friend came in.

“Hey, man, haven’t seen you for ages. How are you, what’s wrong with you?” asked the friend.

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