Women Mind
Tell a woman she’s beautiful for hundred times and she won’t believe you.
Tell a woman she is fat once and she’ll remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
An Interview
Interviewer: “Forget everything you learned in college. You will not need it working here.”
Me: “But I never went to college.”
When I Was A Criminal
One time when I was six, I was in Walmart and I was eating a tube of Pringles.
And I ate them while my mom paid, but I forgot to let the guy scan my Pringles so I walked to the door and an alarm went off and I just started running because I got scared and then my mom couldn’t find me…
Jokes to your email!
Loving Son
An old man lived alone in his village. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was a very difficult job, as the ground was hard. His only son, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
A Witty Man
One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring some fruit. As he got there, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
A Full-Stack Developer
A full-stack developer at work.
A New Job
I started a new job as an Amazon delivery driver today. When I got to my first address there was a note saying:
“Dear delivery man, we’re out, please hide in the garbage.”
SUPPORT=FUNNY
Two Scientists In A Bar
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says:
“Can I get a glass of H2O, please?”
…Want To Understand Women
Jack is in his car driving on the highway by the ocean in California…
…when he stops and asks God for just 1 wish for being a super faithful and good human being. God instantly appears and tells Jack that he has earned the right for one wish.
Sobriety Tests
A man was pulled over by a police officer…
As the officer approached the vehicle he noticed a large number of knives in the back seat.
When I Was A Kid
When I was a kid, I was always excited to learn new words. When I was in first grade, my teacher taught me that “shin” was a synonym for “leg”.
Later that day, I was walking with my mom, when I tripped and hit my leg on the ground really hard. I yelled out: “Oh, my shin!” although my mom has heard: “Oh, my shit.” She started yelling about how that was a bad word and we didn’t say that word, and she was going to wash my mouth out with soap. I was crying, bawling mess of a child, to the point I was doing that weird cry, stutter, hiccup noise. She paused in berating me and said: “Who taught you that word?!” Of course, I told the truth and said “My teacher taught me that word!” and she started ranting about how she was going to call the school and get that teacher yelled at.
That Moment When…
That moment when only you know the right answer in the class.
The Mathematician
One day a mathematician came back home at 3 A.M. and proceeds to get an earful from his wife.
“You are late!” she yells. You said you’d be home by 11:45 P.M.!”
Question And Answer
Question And Answer
SUPPORT=FUNNY
At A Cheap Cafe
A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar, and ordered a beer.
“Certainly sir, that’ll be one cent.”
I’m Ashamed…
A blond woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic: hair and makeup were done by a professional, Gucci heels, Versace dress, and Prada purse.
“I’ve been stung by a nasty insect of some kind,” she tells the doctor, “…but I’m ashamed to tell you where.”
