Types Of Bras

A man walked into the ladies department of a store, walked up to the woman behind the counter, and said,

“I’d like to buy a bra for my wife.”

Married Woman

A man married a woman who had been married five times.

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled man. “How can that be if you’ve been married five times?”

“Well, my first husband was a sales specialist, he kept telling me how great it was going to be…

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Think Of

A man is going to jump off the building. A good cop rushes up to talk him not to do that. Cop yells up to the man,

“Don’t jump! Think of your mother!”

18 Daughters

Three men went to Las Vegas and after losing their money at the blackjack tables, they decided to stay off the strip in a not so expensive hotel, and the guy that owned it had 18 daughters.

Then I’ll Go Home

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot of whiskey, drinks it, and then looks into his pocket. He does this for several times.

Finally, the bartender asked,

About Marriage

A guy talks with his friend about his marriage,

“It’s getting bad these days, my wife spends her evenings going around the bars of the city.”

Going To Be A Politician

A man and his wife are discussing what they think their son will be when he grows up.

“I have an idea,” says the father. He puts a dollar, a bottle of whiskey, and the Bible on the table. “If he takes the money, he’ll be a banker. If he takes the whiskey, he’ll be a wino, and if he takes the Bible, that means he’ll be a preacher.”

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Camping In The Mountains

Two men were camping in the mountains, They spent four days together. One morning, one of them says,

“We’re starting to get on each other’s nerves. Let’s split up today. I’ll hike north and you’ll hike south. Then we’ll have supper and share our experiences.”

You Got Married

A very handsome and tall man got married to a little woman. One day he was walking with his wife when he met one of his classmates.

“Oh, you got married to her? I’m surprised, You are such a big, burly guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny woman? She is no bigger than your hand.”

A Drunken Guy

A drunken guy was staggering along the road, throwing empty beer cans into the street. His singing gained the attention of a passing policeman who decided to question him.

“What do you think you’re doing there?” the policeman asked.

Like My Wife

A drunk man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seating in the bar, walked to her and kissed her.

She jumped up and slapped him. He immediately apologized and explained,

What Time Does The Bar Open

In the morning a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens.

“It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour, later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker.

Whistling Man

A man was sitting in a bar and kept whistling. The bartender asks him,

“Why do not you stop whistling?”

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The Electric Chair

Three Californians go down to Mexico one night, get drunk and wake up in jail. They found out that they are to be executed for their crimes, but none of them can remember what they have done.